


Family Guy and Scott The Woz Crossover:A Murder Mystery

by TheLord214



Category: Family Guy (Cartoon), Scott The Woz (YouTuber)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLord214/pseuds/TheLord214
Summary: When Scott gets an invitation for a party.He goes in a mansion with a certain family.But a murder happen.Who is the murderer?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

**(Everything in this fanfic is owned by Scott Wozniak,Disney,and Seth MacFarlane.This is based on And Then There Were Fewer and The Great Mysteries of Gaming from Family Guy and Scott The Woz respectively.Its actually takes place on And Then There Were Fewer.Its just And Then There Were Fewer with Scott The Woz and more.Its nonprofit and made for fun.Enjoy.)(Also,i’m trying a new style of writing.Theres no music in this one.)**

Prologue 

  
After Scott randomly thought about this.He was gonna go and discover the mysteries of gaming in his closet. 

**Scott:** Time to discover the mysteries of gaming in my closet.

He then goes in and search for mystery’s before finding 3 things.

 **Scott:** Huh,so far,I found why the Xbox cases the way they are and my first fan art of Madden.And…oh.

Scott found an invitation to go to a mansion dinner party for making it this far in life.It said that he will stay there for the weekend.Soon he packs up his things,get a radio to listen to himself,talking about gaming's greatest mysteries and then leaves in a car.

Meanwhile,at Quahog,a certain family got an invitation for the mansion too.But for their honor.They then  
got in their car and drove to the mansion.

  
But they don’t know what was in store for them…


	2. First Greetings

First Greetings

  
Dad,are we almost there?

  
In a certain car.The Griffins have been invited to a dinner party.They are just almost there to the mansion.

**Peter:** Yeah,according to the map,they were almost there.

Just then Lois wakes up and then said.

 **Lois:** Peter,look!

They look up to saw the mansion.It was very big.They can’t wait to go there.They park their car there and get ready to go inside.But then,suddenly,Joe and Bonnie appears.

 **Peter:** Joe?

 **Joe:** Peter?

 **Peter:** What the hell are you guys doing here?

 **Joe:** Well, we got an invitation to a dinner in my honor.I assumed it was for all those arrests I made last month.

 **Peter:** That’s weird.The invitation said that it was for my honor.I assumed it was for being able to fart the alphabet.Which I almost did till I pooped on the S. Oh, well. Everybody on the bus was upset long before that anyway.

Then more guests arrive and they live at Quahog too.But then 5 men come there.

And they didn’t live in Quahog.

  
Hey there

  
They turn to look at 5 men that didn’t live in Quahog.Peter and Lois went up to them.

 **Peter:** Who the hell are you guys?

 **Terry:** Terry Lesler.

 **SW:** Steel Wool.

 **Jeb:** Jeb Jab.

 **WE:** Wendy's Employee.

 **Rex:** Rex Mohs.

 **Lois:** Why are you here?You're not from Quahog.

 **Terry:** The invitation was a celebration for making it this far in life.

They soon went in and a certain maid greeted them.

 **Consuela:** Meester Peter. Meester Joe. Meester Bonnie.

Stewie then faces Brian.

 **Stewie:** She doesn't know what mister means.

 **Consuela:** Meester Mort. Meester Muriel. Mayor West Meester.

 **Stewie:** Oh, my God, seriously.

 **Consuela:** If you will all please follow me to third floor, I show you to your rooms. You are all expected for dinner at 8:00. 

**Stephanie:** Oh, good! I'm starved! 

**Quagmire:** Settle down, will ya?

After going to their rooms they get to the dinning room to eat.

 **Brian:** None of this makes any sense. Everyone got invitations from an anonymous source for a dinner in their honor, when that's clearly not the case. Now we're here, where the hell's our host? 

**Stewie:** Well, at least you all had eveningwear provided for you. I thought this was going to be a lawn party. I don't have one pair of long pants. 

**Brian:** Boy, it's kinda awkward seeing Jillian here with Derek. I wonder if she's thinking about me.

 **Stewie:** I don't know, are you a pony or the color blue.

Jillian thinks about a blue pony.She saw it and said.

 **Jillian:** Derek, look! 

**Derek:** Ha, how do you like that?

 **Carl:** Have you guys ever seen Jim Henson's Labyrinth?

 **Tom:** No. Have you ever seen the Channel Five News? 

**Carl:** No. Uh, Labyrinth has teenage Jennifer Connelly.

 **Tom:** Channel Five News has file footage of pills being sorted.

 **Carl:** Some people think Jennifer Connelly's old now, and that her hands look like two bags of snakes. I think that's bogus.

 **Tom:** I don't think we have much in common. 

**Hartman:** Good heavens, Meg, you're sprouting up like a weed!

 **Lois:** I know, she's growing every day. Meg, you remember Dr. Hartman. 

**Hartman:** Of course she does! I performed her very first pelvic exam! Unless I'm confusing you with someone else. 

Hartman looks under the table and then looks back at Meg and said to her.

 **Hartman:** Nope. That was... That was you.

After all of that talking.They then saw a certain someone walking in.

 **Scott:** Oh! Hey all! Scott Wozniak,dinner partyer here.

 **Jeb:** Jeb Jab,vegan.

 **Terry:** Terry Lesler,veganer.

 **SW:** Officer Steel Wool,justice supporter.

 **Rex:** Rex Mohs,school dance chaperone and historian.

 **WE:** Wendy’s Employee,Wendy’s Employee.

 **Peter:** Peter Griffin…uhhh.What do you call that again?Umm a al-kuh-haa-luhk?Is that right,Lois?

 **Lois:** Yes Peter.

She then turns to Scott.

 **Lois:** Lois Griffin,wife to Peter Griffin.

 **Brian:** Brian Griffin,book writer.

 **Stewie:** Stewie Griffin.

 **Chris:** Chris Griffin,smart

 **Stewie:** Don’t believe him.

 **Meg:** Me-

Peter then covers her mouth.

 **Peter:** Shut up Meg.

 **MW:** Mayor West,mayor of Quahog.

 **Joe:** Joe Swanson,officer of Quahog.

 **Cleveland:** Cleveland Brown,lived in my hometown and then moved to Quahog in my teen days.  
(Note:In this alternate universe The Cleveland Show didn’t happen.Loretta cheats on Cleveland.Cleveland then married Donna and they have 3 kids.)

 **Donna:** Donna Brown,wife of Cleveland.

 **Carter:** Carter Pewterschmidt,founder & owner of Pewterschmidt Industries.

 **Barbara:** Barbara Pewterschmidt,mother of Lois.

 **Bonnie:** Bonnie Swanson,wife of Joe.

 **Tom:** Tom Tucker,channel 5 news anchorman.

 **Diane:** Diane Simmons,channel 5 news co anchorman.

 **Carl:** Carl,manager of the Quahog Mini-Mart.

 **Hartman:** Elmer Hartman,doctor.

 **Seamus:** Seamus Levine,fisherman.

 **Jillian:** I'm Jillian Wilcox,and…ha,ha,ha!

 **Derek:** Sorry about my girlfriend,I’m Derek Wilcox by the way.

 **Herbert:** John Herbert,retired US army veteran.

 **Mort:** Mort Goldman,jew.

 **Muriel:** Muriel Goldman,jewish.

 **Consuela:** Consuela,maid.

 **Stephanie:** Stephanie,Quagmire's girlfriend!

 **Quagmire** :Glenn Quagmire,Stephanie “boyfriend”

Scott then takes a seat at the dining table.But then suddenly,they heard steps from upstairs.Then,a certain man,recently have a new girlfriend,comes into the dining room.It no other then…

 **James:** Good evening, everyone. 

**Lois:** James Woods!  
  
**Brian:** Grrrrr.

 **James:** Thank you for joining me at my humble manor. I'd like to introduce you to my lovely companion, Pricilla.   
  
**Pricilla:** Nice to meet you all.

 **Jillian:** Who's he? 

**Derek:** James Woods. 

**Jillian:** Oh, I thought he was a shark. 

**Derek:** No, he was on a show called Shark.

 **Jillian:** But he's made of wood? 

**Derek:** No, his last name is Woods, but he's not made of wood. Nobody is. 

**James:** This truly is a night to celebrate, especially for me.

 **Joe:** Hey, what's going on here, Woods?The invitation said this was a dinner in my honor. 

**MW:** That's what mine said, too.

Soon they started to all say that the invitation was in their honor.With one saying where is the food.But then James said.

 **James:** Well, actually, this dinner honors all of you. Where should I begin? You see, recently I've become a born-again Christian.Thanks to this beautiful little angel,Pricilla,my girlfriend.She came into my life as if out of nowhere, enchanted me beyond my wildest dreams, and opened my eyes to the cleansing truth of Jesus Christ's love.

 **Pricilla:** No, honey, it was always within you. I just helped you find it. 

**Carl:** Um... What does all this gay stuff have to do with us? 

**James:** Well, the fact of the matter is, I have wronged each and every one of you in some way. And, since I am a man of God now, I am truly repentant.So, I invited you all here to make amends.

 **Terry:** But what about us?

 **Jeb:** Yeah you never wronged us.

 **James:** Well,an old friend told me to invite you here.His name is Chet Shaft.

 **Terry:** You know him?

 **Carter:** Wait,who’s Chet Shaft?

 **Peter:** Yeah,who the hell is he?

 **Terry:** He was a former vegan and he bought milk.

 **Jeb:** That son of a bitch!

 **SW:** I pulled him over for money laundering.

 **Rex:** I'm chaperoning this party.

 **WE:** He stole a Baconator.

 **Jeb:** That son of a bitch!

 **Scott:** I worked and got him and myself fired at Games on a Shelf,one of the only jobs I have.Now I’m living on unemployment checks and fear.

 **James:** Well he will by appearing by video,live.He will appear on the TV I recently installed on this table.He will appear in a few minutes.Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go check on dinner.

 **Pricilla:** Oh,I’ll help you,sweetheart.

Pricilla and James then leaves.Tom then said.

 **Tom:** This is all very strange. 

**Diane:** I agree,something's not right. 

**Lois:** I don't know, maybe we should give him a chance. Maybe he really is born again. 

**Stephanie:** Well, he could be. It all depends on what his astrological sign is. 

**Quagmire:** Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 

**Stephanie:** I'm very intuitive with these things.   
Maybe if I sit in his chair, I can get a reading on his energy. I mean, if he's an Aquarius, a rebirth would not be unexpected. 

Stephanie then sits on his chair that he will sit on during dinner.

 **Quagmire:** That's enough, Stephanie. 

Just then,while Brian was trying to open the beer.The cork spit out.Derek grabbed it…but Stephanie died.Hartman goes over there to see if she’s dead by checking her pulse.She is.They all gasped

 **Stewie:** I can't help feeling this would be sadder if she wasn't heavy. 


	3. A Murder to Solve

A Murder to Solve

 **Lois:** Oh, my God. It was him! It was James Woods! He killed Stephanie! 

**Peter:** Jeez, I knew he was crazy, but I didn't think he was a murderer! 

**Mort:** Oh, he must've brought us here to kill us all! Run! Run for your lives! 

**Cleveland:** Quick! We gotta get out of here!

Everyone but Scott,Jeb,Terry,Wendy Employee,Rex,and Steel Wool ran outside.Because Scott convinced them to stay because it’s not time to leave yet.

 **Peter:** Come on, get in the car!

They then all got in there cars and drive to leave.But then lighting hits one of the trees which fell on the bridge,causing it to break.The Griffins almost fell in there.

 **Lois:** Oh, my God, Peter, back it up!

 **Peter:** Oh, really, Lois? I thought I might drive forward. I thought that... that might be a fun thing to do.

 **Chris:** Stop fighting!

The car then starts to fall at the river below.

 **Brian:** Oh, my God!Quick, Peter, get in the back!

Peter then did what Brian said and Lois takes the wheel.Lois was able to save themselves from falling into the lake but hit Morts car in the process.

 **Peter:** Oh, thank God. We made it.

Then Mort comes to them.

 **Mort:** Oh! Aah! Ow! My neck! You backed into me, and... and now... Oh!

 **Muriel:** And your back!

 **Mort:** And my back! My back, yes! Oh!

Carter was watching all of this and then realized that he had an button to call a helicopter.

 **Carter:** Wait a minute.

He pressed it and soon a helicopter came with a person driving it.He gets on it and then said to the others.

 **Carter:** Hah!Enjoy getting killed,losers!

Lighting then strikes the helicopter and it falls on the ground.Carter gets off on it and the helicopter falls into water which then explodes,killing the person driving it and destroying the helicopter.

 **Carter:** Fuck,I knew I should have get the button for electric-resistant helicopters.

They then go back inside with the men that were not from Quahog go to where the other party members were at now.The living room.

 **Joe:** All right, it looks like we're stuck here. Storm has flooded the causeway, and the bridge is destroyed. For the moment, there's no way out. 

**Carl:** No Way Out. Great film. Sean Young naked in the limo.

 **Bonnie:** What are we gonna do? We can't just stay here with James Woods lurking somewhere in the house! 

**Joe:** All right, does anyone have a cell phone? 

They pulled out their cell phone but did not get any reception.

 **MW:** It's all right. I'll put a message in a bottle. 

He then does what he said to do.

 **MW:** Now... we wait. 

**Derek:** Look, he's got a landline we can use! 

**Lois:** Oh, no. You know, I wouldn't feel right about that. We're guests, and it's a long distance. 

Brian then try’s the landline phone and it doesn’t work.

 **Brian:** Doesn't matter. The line's dead.

They were all scared.But then Herbert said.

 **Herbert:** Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right. Look, everybody but Chris, just keep your pants on and let's figure a way out of this. 

**Diane:** He's right. We just got to stay calm.

 **Bonnie:** With a killer in the house?!

 **Stewie:** Killer in the house…!

Then Pricilla comes in.

 **Pricilla:** Hey, guys, has anybody seen James? 

**Joe:** Sweetheart, you may want to sit down for this.

Then Consuela comes in.

 **Consuela:** Who want little tiny tacos? 

**James:** Ooh, little taco. I'll have one of those.

 **Carter:** It's him! 

**James:** Sorry I took so long. I was going to the bathroom and I just couldn't stop looking at my penis,cause it's, you know, so fantastic. 

**Peter:** You're a monster... Yeah, I heard it's fantastic. You're a monster, James Woods! You think you can just commit murder and get away with it?! Quagmire loved that girl! 

**Quagmire:** Easy.

 **James:** Murder? Wha... What are you talking about? 

**Joe:** You're going away for a long time, pal. 

**Pricilla:** Jimmy, what does he mean? 

**James:** Look, I honestly don't know what's going on here. 

**Tom:** Oh, really? Well, maybe that dead pile of cookie dough in the next room will refresh your memory. 

**James:** What do you mean? There's nothing in the next room. 

They then looked in the dining room.Only to see no dead body.

 **Brian:** It's gone! 

**Joe:** Where is she, Woods? What'd you do with the body? 

**James:** What body? 

**Hartman:** You know, maybe she wasn't dead. I'll admit it, I'm... I'm not great with that stuff sometimes.

 **James:** All right, I don't know what's happening here, but look, I'm a lot of things. A member of Mensa, a huge hit with the ladies, someone who, you know, would have broken out bigger if he weren't so impossible to work with. Right. But a murderer? I only just found God. Why would I jeopardize my entrance into heaven? 

**Joe:** If I were you, I'd keep your mouth shut till you talk to a lawyer.

 **James:** I didn't kill anybody!

Then the lights came out

 **Peter:** Oh my God.Is this what black people see all the time?

 **Cleveland:** Peter!

The lights then turned back on and they saw James Woods,dead.They all gasped.

 **Joe:** Nobody touch the knife! There could be fingerprints on it.

 **Peter:** So James Woods murdered Stephanie, and then he murdered himself.Criss-cross. 

**Joe:** No, Peter. Don't you see? He didn't kill himself, and he didn't kill Stephanie. 

**Barbara:** What are you saying? 

**Joe:** I'm saying, James Woods isn't the murderer. The murderer... is one of us!

They all gasped.

 **Joe:** And someone ate the last goat cheese tartlet.

Everyone then outrages with Peter saying.

 **Peter:** Now I hope I die next.

With Rex then saying.

 **Rex:** What the fuck!


	4. Looking for Clues

Looking for Clues

 **Joe:** Look,it’s important that everyone stays calm.

 **MW:** How should we all stay calm.There is a murderer in this house!

Just then the Tv came on.With a screen saying Now,a message from Chet Shaft.

 **Terry:** This must be the video that James was talking about.

The video then starts.

 **Chet:** Hi! Chet Shaft,former Games on A Shelf manager.Current doer of all things nothing.Welcome to the party.My largest priority in the moment.Due to certain circumstances,I can’t be here with you guys.Now please let me say to some of the guys that might be in here.Terry and Jeb,thank you more your acts of veganism.Carrots wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t you.Rick Mohs,without you,I wouldn’t be an alcoholic.

 **Rex:** It’s Rex!

 **Chet:** Steel Wool,thank you for your years of service.Wendys Employee,thank you for your years of service.And Scott,without you,I wouldn’t have lost my job at Games on a Shelf.Now everybody,enjoy your party,and please help yourself to a complimentary table knife and dig in.

The power then turned off and the on.Showing Chet dead on the Tv.Scott came to check on him.He is dead.

 **Scott:** He's dead!

 **Quagmire:** How did he even die!

 **Joe:** This Tv can deflect anything but bullets.The bullet that transport though it and hit the person on the other side of the Tv.In this case,Chet.

 **Peter:** That doesn’t make sense…but I will allow it.Just this one time.

Carl then accidentally broke a plate and the gun appeared behind it.Joe put it together and a small hole was found in the plate.

 **Joe:** Oh, my God.Stephanies was an accident. 

**Quagmire:** That's a way of putting it. 

**Lois:** What do you mean, Joe? 

**Joe:** This gun was timed to fire directly at that chair, where James Woods would have been sitting. But he left, and Stephanie was in the wrong place at the wrong time.He then might have moved it to shoot Chet.So whoever the murderer is, they were after James Woods, not Stephanie. The question is, who here wanted James Woods dead?

They all looked at each other. 

**Joe:** Let's look for clues.

They then check around to look for any clues.Peter then found something.

 **Peter:** Oh, my God.

 **Stewie:** Brian, I feel like everyone's wondering why I'm wearing shorts.

 **Brian:** Nobody's even looking at you.

 **Stewie:** That's what I mean. The fact that no one has said anything makes it even more obvious that everyone has noticed.

Brian then heard Peter calling him and look at Peter.

 **Peter:** Brian, look what I found!Check it out! I'm a robot from outer space!Hang on.I'm coming down. Go, go, gadget skis!

Peter then trips down the stairs and fall on Joe.Joe then slides near a table with a vase and it fell on him,knocking him out.

 **Peter:** Uh oh.

They then all go back to the living room.

 **Peter:** All right, since it's my fault that Joe got knocked out, it is now my responsibility to take over the investigation. 

**Brian:** I... I don't know if that actually follows. 

**Peter:** Oh, it does follow, Brian. Because I'm the one with the giant magnifying glass. 

He then takes out a magnifying glass.

 **Peter:** Is my eye big? 

**Brian:** Yeah.

 **Peter:** Good. Good. That means progress. 

**Brian:** All right, let's... Let's figure out what we know here. The gun was clearly meant to kill James Woods, but Stephanie got in the way. So the murderer had to improvise and finish the job by stabbing him. Now who here had a motive for wanting James Woods dead? 

**Lois:** Well, according to James Woods, we all did. He brought us here to make amends with us. 

**MW:** But he wronged one of us enough to want revenge. The question is, who? 

**Diane:** Well, I know one person who could have. My partner Tom.

 **Tom:** All right, it's true. James Woods ruined my career! I originally wanted to be an actor. And I booked the lead role in Nightmare on Elm Street. But James Woods said, "No, don't bother. Something else will come along." So I turned it down. And now this Robert Englund is the talk of the town. That should be me everyone's talking about! Was I angry? Yes, of course! But I didn't kill him! What about Seamus? You hated James Woods. You told me so! 

**Seamus:** Aye. He's the one who made me what I am today.I was once a wooden statue but brought to life by his wish.But he didn't wish hard enough! It only worked on me head!

 **Peter:** Oh, my God, seriously?

 **Seamus:** No. Actually, I was a normal guy until one night, we dropped acid together, and he thought I was a steak. Grilled me, ate me arms and legs. It was a whole thing. But I'm not the killer! What about the mayor? He could have killed him and got himself off scot-free! 

**MK:** He took the Twitter name MayorWest, so now I have to use Mayor_West. That rat-faced cracker! But you hated him, too, Dr. Hartman. 

**Hartman:** Sure, I hated him.He changed the bones of the skeleton so I don’t know where it is.But Mort also hated him. 

**Mort:** I didn't kill him! Maybe it was Diane. 

**Diane:** James Woods promised to introduce me to Dan Rather. But instead, he introduced me to Danny Bonaduce. I tell you, that guy looks like a dog turning thirty. But what about the old guy? I heard him complaining about Woods in the dining room. 

**Herbert:** That's true. He replaced my Cialis with methamphetamines!But what about Carter?

 **Carter:** That guy once fucked my company.He once took over the company as CEO.It was almost bankrupt until I took over.But what about Cleveland.

 **Cleveland:** He once roasted me on Twitter.But what about the 6 men that are not from Quahog.

 **Scott:** Look we can all get the murder stench out of here by listening to some good oldfashion video game mystery’s.

Scott then turns on the radio for him to say about the greatest mysteries of gaming.Rex then said.

 **Rex:** Somebody fucking died!

They listened to the radio for a bit until Jeb paused it and said.

 **Jeb:** Look we may still be suspects.We all hated Chet.He money laundered,a carnivore,fucked all of us,who say one of us isn’t the murderer.

 **Terry:** He’s right,one of us might be the murderer.

 **WE:** Ooo,I love puzzles!

 **Scott:** Guys listen,one of us may be the murderer.But were still human at the end of the day.Let's listen to some gaming mysteries about Luigi and call it a night.

Scott then turn on the radio again with Steel Wool then saying.

 **SW:** Didn’t Luigi say fuck in Mario Golf.

They heard it a bit until Scott paused and said.

 **Scott:** This is great.Its like a murder mystery,with the murder and the mystery.

 **Terry:** You're taking this pretty well man.

 **Jeb:** Yeah who's to say that you're not the killer.Your acting carefree right now when someone's life is at stake.

 **Scott:** It’s a murder,not a tax audit.We’ll be fine.

 **Rex:** Well what about the Wendy's Employee!Nobody ever suspects the Wendy Employee!

 **WE:** Well what about Steel Wool?He has a gun.

 **SW:** Jeb has a knife.

 **Jeb:** Yeah,for fun not for murder.

 **Scott:** Guys deep down,we can all be murderers if we want.So let’s get to the bottom of this.By a show of hands,who is the murderer.

No one raised there hand.

 **Scott:** Dammit,now who is that guy who is wearing a hawaiian shirt.He might be the murderer.

 **Peter:** That’s Quagmire.Quagmire,do you hate James Woods?

 **Quagmire:** Fine! So he stole Cheryl Tiegs from me! He ruined your TV pilot! 

**Brian:** Go to hell! I backed out of that project willingly. 

**Quagmire:** Oh, yeah, that's what every hack says. 

**Quagmire:** You know, Brian... 

**Brian:** I'm telling you…

Everyone argued for a long time until Chris uncovered a secret room,unintentionally.

 **Stewie:** Eh. My secret room's bigger. 

**Herbert:** Mine's smaller than this.

 **Peter:** All right, stand back. This could be dangerous. 

Peter then went in…only to go out to say.

 **Peter:** Oh, laundry room. Laundry room, everybody. 

Peter then goes into another bookcase and twist a head of a statue.The bookcase then moves showing stairs leading underground.

 **Peter:** Oh, see, here we go.

They then all went in.After walking down some stairs,they saw a room.Peter then found James Woods book of misdeeds he did.

 **Peter:** Aha! James Woods made a list of all his misdeeds so he could make amends.

Peter then opens and read the book.

 **Peter:** Bonnie, he punched you in the throat, and that's why you sound like that? 

**Bonnie:** No, he punched me in the throat because I sound like this.

Peter kept reading the book.

 **Peter:** Huh,Tomik and Bellgarde were also supposed to be here.I wonder why they didn’t come.

Peter kept reading the book more.

 **Peter:** And Consuela, he... Actually, I can't read his handwriting here. What... What happened? 

**Consuela:** One day, I bring my nephew to work, and he molest my nephew, and my nephew... He only fourteen, and he cry, and then, he shoot himself in the face. 

Brian checks the inside of the drawer.

 **Brian:** What are all these?

He then saw the bottles labeled OxyContin.

 **Brian:** God, there are tons of OxyContin bottles in here. All prescribed to James Woods. And all from Goldman's Pharmacy. 

**Hartman:** What's that all about, Goldman?

 **Mort:** I don't know what you're talking about. James Woods never bought anything in my pharmacy. Ever.

 **Peter:** Yes, he did. Says here he talked Muriel into selling him OxyContin for him and his nineteen-year-old girlfriend. This went on for weeks, but then she started to have misgivings and threatened to cut him off. But he wouldn't let her. He threatened to blackmail her by turning her into the Feds.

 **Carter:** Sounds like a pretty good motive to me. 

**Muriel:** No! No, it's not true! I would never kill anybody, never! And I am not saying another word until I talk to my lawyer, because... Why is he wearing shorts? 

**Stewie:** Oh, my God, I told you! 

**Carter:** Muriel, just surrender quietly. It'll be easier for us all if you…

The light suddenly turns off and Muriel took the chance to escape.She escaped the room and ran off somewhere.The lights turned back on and the guest saw that Muriel is gone.They then go back to the living room.

 **Peter:** All right, let's split up and search the house. I'll go with Lois. Chris, you check the basement with Herbert. Meg, you go with Brian and Stewie. 

**Stewie:** Uh, no, she... She can't.  
  
**Brian:** Yeah, uh, she can't. We... we... we were gonna use this time, uh... to figure out what to get you for your birthday. 

**Peter:** Ooh, ah, okay. Oh, yeah, no, you guys go. You guys... Ooh, now I'm excited. Um, okay, um, Meg, you go with Carl. Sorry, Carl. Tom and Diane, you're a team. Quagmire and Bonnie, you're a team. Um... Seamus and Dr. Hartman? That... That could be funny. Don't usually see the two of you together. Uh, Derek and Jillian, you guys take the attic.Scott,Steel Wool,and Wendy’s Employee you are a team.Jeb,Terry,and Rex you are a team.Cleveland and Donna your a team.Carter and Barbara your a team.Joe and Priscilla are still passed out, so they'll be the unconscious team. And that leaves another three-person team of Mort, Consuela, and Mayor West.

After they got in there teams.Peter then said.

 **Peter:** All right. Let's do this.

 **Terry:** Wait,look!

They all look at the TV that Chet died in.Showing a thin piece of dark hair.

 **WE:** So whoever the killer is,has dark hair.

 **Scott:** Good,that narrows it down a bit.

 **Peter:** Ok look if they have dark hair.If they have it keep an eye on them.

 **Scott:** Oh and anyone who died call out to everyone if you die.

 **All:** Ok

They then leave,only leaving Mort,Consuela,and Mayor West left.

 **MW:** So, uh... You guys like to party? 

**Mort:** No! 

**Consuela:** Oh, no. 

**MW:** Oh, my God, what a couple of squares. Squaresville, I tell ya! 


	5. Looking for The Murderer

Looking for The Murderer

  
(Derek and Jillian)

They tried to look for Muriel.They then open the door to the attic to try and find her.

 **Jillian:** What are we supposed to be doing again? 

**Derek:** We're looking for Muriel Goldman, honey.

Then Derek goes pokes his head in the attic and calls out.

 **Derek:** Hello? Is anybody up here? 

Then a cat appears and goes down the attic.

 **Jillian:** Hey, maybe it was that cat who was the murderer. Let me ask him. Meow, meow, meow? Meow-meow-meow-meow? 

**Cat:** We don't all talk like that. I happen to be a professor. 

**Derek:** Our apologies, sir.

 **Cat:** I should imagine so. Now if you'll excuse me, I have papers to correct. 

(Chris and Herbert)

Chris and Herbert were look in a hallway to find Muriel.

 **Herbert:** Chris, I'm worried, with this killer on the loose. If I should die, I... I just want you to know that they might find some things. Strange things. Things that don't make sense to you. 

**Chris:** Um... okay.

 **Herbert:** And there's gonna be a lot of talk. Nasty talk. And I just want you to know, from me, it's all gonna be out of context.

 **Chris:** I don't know what that means.

 **Herbert:** It means, if I die, you gotta burn my house down!

(Tom and Diane)

Meanwhile,Tom and Diane are looking for Muriel in the statue room.

 **Tom:** Muriel?

 **Diane:** Oh, yeah, like she's going to answer you, Tom. 

**Tom:** And here we go with the attitude. This is why you're single. 

**Diane:** Oh, so I'm not supposed to point out when you do something stupid? 

**Tom:** You hear that? You hear that tone you're using? That's penis repellent right there. 

They then go inside the statue room.

 **Diane:** Careful. She could be hiding behind any one of these statues. 

**Tom:** Muriel, this is Tom Tucker from the Channel Five News. Perhaps you'd like an autograph.

 **Diane:** Oh, for God's sakes. Do you hear yourself.

 **Tom:** There it is.

Tom then acts like he’s spraying repellent.

 **Diane:** Knock it off!

Diane pushes him to the wall.

 **Tom:** Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't feel like there's any wall here. 

Tom accidentally press a button on the floor.Causing the wall to move,showing a room.

 **Diane:** What do you think's in there? 

**Tom:** I don't know. Looks scary. What do you think, Ollie? I miss Ollie.

 **Diane:** I better take a look. 

**Tom:** No. I'll go first. 

Tom then goes in.

 **Diane:** Do you see anything?

 **Tom:** No, it's... It's too dark. 

The wall then moves back to its normal place.

 **Diane:** Tom? Tom! 

(Carl and Meg)

They looked in the game pool room

 **Carl:** Oh, sweet. A pool table. Let's see if we can find some cues.

They looked around for cues.But then suddenly,Carl screams.

 **Meg:** What is it?! 

**Carl:** Whew. It's okay. It's just the stuffed bear from The Great Outdoors. 

**Carl:** Did you see The Great Outdoors? 

**Meg:** No.

 **Carl:** You suck. 

**Meg:** Hey, I found the pool cues! 

She pulls one of them and she falls.

 **Carl:** Meg? 

Carl tries to look for Meg.But couldn’t find her.

 **Carl:** Looks like I'm all alone. Well, hey, that's all right. I watch a lot of movies. I can just use my imagination.

He then believed the bear can talk.

 **Bear:** Hi, Carl.

 **Carl:** Hey, bear.So, um, in the bear world, are, like, pandas your version of interracial children? 

**Bear:** Yeah. Pandas aren't something I agree with. 

**Carl:** They're cute, though, right?

 **Bear:** Just when they're babies.

(Peter and Lois)

They were looking around at the garden.

 **Lois:** Boy, it's really raining hard. 

**Peter:** Yeah, well, we needed it. 

Lois then looks at Peter.

 **Peter:** What?

 **Lois:** Peter, we've been married a long time. Why do I still get "guy in an elevator" small talk? 

**Peter:** I don't know. You're the one talking about the weather. So... Looking forward to the weekend?

Someone then walks behind Lois.

 **Lois:** Ahh!

 **Quagmire:** It's okay. It's just us. 

**Lois:** Oh, Quagmire, Bonnie, you scared us. Have you seen any sign of Muriel?

 **Peter:** Hah,I saw him behind you,Lois.That was priceless.

Then someone walks behind Peter.

 **Peter:** Ahhh!

 **Cleveland:** Peter it’s just us.Me and Donna.

 **Peter:** Oh ok,hey wait a second!,why didn't I think of this before? I should just check the "Find a Jew" app on my phone.

He then takes out his phone.

 **Peter:** Huh. There's just two big clusters on each side of the country. No, look. There's one down south. 

The red dot then disappeared.

 **Peter:** Ah, they got him.

(Terry,Rex,and Jeb)

They were walking around and then stopping for Terry to say.

 **Terry:** Alright,so now that we’re all alone.Were all friends here,right?

 **Rex:** Who the fuck are you?

 **Terry:** Were just gonna cut into the chase.Were you the murderer.

 **Rex:** I only thing I kill,is a nonalcoholic.

 **Jeb:** So it’s possible you could have killed him.

 **Rex:** That’s impossible,I hate murder.

 **Terry:** I hate it too.But you don’t see me bragging about it.

 **Jeb:** That’s it,good luck not murdering people,murderers.

Jeb then leaved the group

(Brian and Stewie)

They were walking while they were humming songs and tried to guess them.

 **Brian:** Okay, um... 

He then hums to the theme of Lost in Space.

 **Stewie:** Oh, uh, Lost in Space. 

**Brian:** Yup, okay. Um…

He then hums the theme to the Dick Van Dyke Show

 **Stewie:** Oh, uh, uh, that's Dick Van Dyke. Okay, um... Oh, okay, I... I... I got one, um…

He then hums the theme to the Dinasty.

 **Brian:** I have no idea. 

Stewie then sings his own version of the Dinasty theme.

 **Stewie:** Come on, Brian, you know this.

He then keeps singing.Until he said.

 **Stewie:** Y... You don't know this?

 **Brian:** Uh, Falcon Crest? 

**Stewie:** No, it's "Dinasty",Bri!  
  
**Brian:** Oh. Yeah, I... I didn't watch that. 

They then heard a scream.They come over there to see Muriel dead.The rest(Well almost all of them…)then came.

 **Mort:** Oh, my God, Muriel! My sweet Muriel! She was so young. She was so beauti... She was so genero... Uh, we were married. 

**Brian:** Look! This is the same knife that killed James Woods. 

**Peter:** Oh, my God! Then Muriel wasn't the killer. 

Then Scott,Steel Wool,and Wendy’s Employee come in.

 **Scott:** I know that we’re gonna get murdered tonight but who the fuck thought that this was real.

 **???:** I died!

They then go over to where they heard that voice.They then saw Jeb,dead.Scott then went to check if he’s dead.He then said.

 **Scott:** Lung cancer,the murderer not only killed Chet.But peer pressured Jeb to death.

Then Rex came in and quickly said

 **Rex:** It was like that when I got here.

Scott then plays the radio.They stared at him when he said something about a screen will kill him at a dinner party.

 **Scott:** It’s a common saying!

They listen to it some more until Barbara paused it.

 **Barbara:** No time for it right now,Scott.Brian,who is the murderer?

 **Brian:** I don't know, but one thing's for sure. If we don't find out before this storm lets up, we're all gonna be dead by morning. 


	6. Trying to Call The Police

Trying to Call The Poilce.

They then go to the dining room.

 **Peter:** All right, if we're going to make it out alive, we gotta stick together from now on.Is everyone here?

 **Lois:** Wait a minute, wait. Where's Meg? 

**Diane:** And where's Tom Tucker?

Then Tom and Meg come in.

 **Tom:** Right here! 

**Diane:** Oh, my God! What happened? 

**Meg:** I fell through a trapdoor that led to an underground passageway. So I followed it, and it led me to a hatch over there in the parlor. 

**Tom:** The same thing happened to me. But with a moustache. 

**Scott:** All right to lighten up the mood.Lets hear some video game mystery’s.

Scott then turns on the radio.They heard something’s before Scott turn it off and said.

 **Scott:** Did it lighten up the mood?

They then all noticed that Terry’s dead.

 **Rex:** Ah shit,Terry’s dead.

 **Scott:** Great.Now I gotta play more of this to lighten the mood more.

They heard it a bit. It said there’s only reading actual mystery’s about video games.Rex then said.

 **Rex:** Nicotine?

They heard it more and then Wendy’s Employee paused it and said 

**WE:** We should just call the police already.

 **Brian:** We can’t get any signal.

 **Derek:** Wait,I have a signal!

Derek shows his phone to Peter.

 **Peter:** Oh, my God, is that... Are you holding up the whole Hollywood sign? 

**Derek:** No, no, no, no. The sign was way in the background. I was standing in the foreground going like this when Jillian took the picture, so by forced perspective, it looks like I'm holding up the whole sign. 

**Peter:** I don't believe you. I think you are a God. And I will die for you or kill others. 

**Derek:** Damn it. The signal's gone. If I can get up to the roof or something, maybe I can get a stronger signal and call the police. 

Peter then picks up Brian.

 **Peter:** Okay. And I will skin this dog in your honor. 

**Derek:** Please don't. 

**Peter:** As you wish. 

**Lois:** Do you really think it could work, Derek? 

**Derek:** There's only one way to find out. I'll be back. 

Derek then leaves

 **Peter:** All right, nobody leaves this room until he gets back. 

**Quagmire:** Wait a minute. Something's not right here. We're short one vagina in this room. 

**Donna:** Oh, my God! Priscilla's gone!

 **WE:** Wait a minute,Rex is dead too!

They saw Rex,dead.

 **Scott:** Ok,time to play this again.

Scott plays this again.They heard it.Until Scott paused it and said.

 **Scott:** And that’s it.Its finished and Wendy Employee is dead.

They saw him dead.But then Steel Wool put on a mask and pointed his gun at Scott,behind him.

 **Peter:** Scott,behind you!

Scott looks behind him.

 **Scott:** Oh shit! It was you.Take off your mask!Who are you?

Steel Wool then takes off his mask.

 **Scott:** Fuck I never would’ve guessed!

 **SW:** Time for your end.

 **Scott:** That’s the least of my concerns right now.Why did you do it?

 **SW:** Chet deserved it.He money laundered.I was too shy to say that I was the murderer so I thought it was easier to kill everyone.

 **Lois:** So you're the one that set up the gun to kill James Woods!

 **SW:** I didn’t set up the gun.Someone else set it up to kill him.I didn’t kill Muriel,Stephanie,and James Woods.I noticed it before anyone else noticed it and moved it to shoot Chet.

 **Scott:** Wait,you killed people to make that easier?

 **SW:** Time to continue this killing spree.

Steel Wool pined Scott on the ground,trying to shoot him.Scott then said.

 **Scott:** Ever heard of the Madden curse!

Scott put his fan art of madden to Steels Wool leg.His leg was hurt and was dead.

 **Scott:** I did it.I solved the mystery.

 **Brian:** Only one,there is still a another murderer in this house.

Then Joe comes in.

 **Joe:** Ahh,What the hell happened? 

**Bonnie:** Joe! You're okay! 

**Joe:** Yeah, I'm fine. What's going on?

 **Tom:** What's going on is, Priscilla's the murderer!

 **Brian:** Wait a second.We don't know that. 

**Lois:** Well, she was by herself this whole time!

 **Carter:** Yes, but she was unconscious!

 **Cleveland:** She could've come to and killed Muriel! 

**Brian:** This is all speculation! We don't know if she's the killer! 

**Quagmire:** Yeah, besides, she's hot! Hot chicks are never crazy! 

**Peter:** Derek lifted up the Hollywood sign.

They then all argued.Meanwhile,Derek was climbing up the stairs.He reached the rooftop and tried to look for the signal.He found it.

 **Derek:** Yes!

He then started trying to call the police as fast before the signal was gone.But then someone goes up behind him.He looked behind him and said.

 **Derek:** Hey. What are you doing up here? Wait a minute. What the hell is this? Oh, my God! It's you! The man or woman who's been killing everybody! Stay back. Stay back.

He then fall from the rooftop.To his death.Everyone heard it.

 **Scott:** It came from over there!

Then they went to where they heard it.They saw Derek,dead.Hartman checked him to make sure that he is dead.He is.

 **Brian:** Do you think he slipped off the roof? 

**Hartman:** Maybe. But he was dead before the fall. Look at this... He's been hit on the head by a blunt object. 

**Jillian:** Oh, my God, no, Derek!

She then cries.

 **Diane:** Oh, Jillian, I'm so sorry. 

**Peter:** Hey, can you grab his phone? I want to prove something to these guys. 


	7. Looking for The Murderers Weapon

Looking for The Murderers Weapon

They then go back inside.Into the living room.

 **Lois:** I... I... It's Priscilla. I... I mean, it's got to be Priscilla. She's the only one who's not here. 

**Brian:** Look, maybe, maybe not. We thought Muriel was the killer, and look how that turned out. We have no proof of anything. 

**Stewie:** Is this the latest you've ever stayed up? It's the latest I've ever stayed up. 

**Consuela:** Oh, no! Someone take Mr. Woods' Golden Globe! 

They then saw that one of the golden Globes was missing.

 **Brian:** She's right! There was a Golden Globe award here, and it's gone.

 **Joe:** I think we may have identified our blunt object.

 **Brian:** So all we have to do is find that Golden Globe and we'll have our murder weapon... And if we're lucky, it may just mean we'll have our killer. 

**Joe:** All right, from this moment forward, nobody leaves the group. 

**Peter:** Joe's right. Everyone huddle up. 

They then do what Peter said.

 **Joe:** Good. Now, we're gonna search the house, and we're gonna move as one. Anyone who separates from the group we will assume to be the killer. All clear?

 **Others:** Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

**Joe:** All right. Let's do this! 

They go walk slowly,until they reached the stairs.

 **Peter:** Oh, boy, we got a problem here. All right, on the count of three. One, two... three! 

They hold up Joe.

 **Joe:** Thanks, guys.

While they were walking the stairs.Peter hums Hava Nagila.Joe then said to stop it.He continues humming.

 **Joe:** Peter, knock it off! 

**Peter:** Okay, Jew. Joe. 

**Joe:** Shut up! I'm not Jewish! 

**Mort:** Well! I think we've learned a little something about our friendly neighborhood policeman today.

They then go to the hallways that the rooms are in.

 **Brian:** All right, we got to search every one of these rooms. We'll start with Quagmire's. 

They then search in Quagmires room.Peter then found something and said.

 **Peter:** Oh, my God! Are those Stephanie's underpants? 

**Quagmire:** Oh, God.

 **MW:** They're huge! 

**Stewie:** Looks like the crotch got chewed on by a walrus mouth.

 **Lois:** Look, it's got flowers! I mean, why bother? Who's gonna see 'em? 

**Chris:** Maybe someone in space. 

Then all but Quagmire,laughed.

 **Quagmire:** Come on, guys, can't we all just be glad she's dead?

They then check in another room.

 **Carter:** Whose room is this?

 **Scott:** It’s mine.

Quagmire then saw something.

 **Quagmire:** Why do you have a pile of FlingSmash!No man must need that many.

 **Scott:** Never leave the house without them.

 **Quagmire:** Really?

 **Scott:** It’s a bitch.

Quagmire then saw something again.

 **Quagmire:** Is that a copy of Madden 08!

 **Scott:** It’s the best Madden!

 **Quagmire:** No it’s not!Madden 07 is the best one!

 **Carl:** No,Madden 09 is the best one.

 **Scott:** You son of a bitch!

 **Lois:** Guys lets focus on finding the murderer's weapon.

 **Peter:** Not yet,Lois!Madden 04 is the best.

Peter,Quagmire,Carl,and Scott argued until Brian said.

 **Brian:** That’s enough!Joe,Lois,Chris,help me move them away from each other.

They then pulled them away and said that they need to look for the murderer's weapon.Then everyone huddled up and went into another room.

Carl then saw a large poster of Tom Tucker.

 **Carl:** Whose room is this? 

**Tom:** It's, uh, my room. 

**Bonnie:** You travel with a giant poster of yourself? 

**Tom:** Yes. It helps me get to sleep, knowing that Big Tom Tucker is keeping a watchful eye out for nocturnal intruders. 

**MW:** What a ridiculous man you are. 

**Tom:** Look, I didn't know my room was gonna be scrutinized. I... If you don't like it, let's get out of here. 

**Joe:** Not till we've searched the place. 

They all searched the place.But then,Meg found it.

  
The murder weapon.

  
**Meg:** You guys?

She then showed them the weapon.

 **Bonnie:** Oh, my God! 

**Joe:** Well, well, I think we've found our killer. 

**Tom:** Oh, now, now, wait a minute, that's not mine! 

**Joe:** I suppose it crawled under your bed all by itself. 

**Joe:** Well, maybe it did. I didn't murder anybody. 

**Peter:** Tell it to Mike Judge. 

**Tom:** Whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, this is crazy, Wh... What about Priscilla? We have no idea where she is. She could've planted that there. 

**Joe:** Well, uh... I suppose it's possible. 

A drop of blood fell on Peter's nose.

 **Peter:** What the hell? Aw, dang it, I got a nosebleed. 

Joe looked up to see something red on the vent door.

 **Joe:** No, you don't. 

They then all looked at the vent door.

 **Joe:** Peter, give me a boost.

Peter then grabbed a table.Then he stands on it.Joe then grabs a copy of FlingSmash Scott gave to him.Peter then pick Joe up.Joe used the game box to touch it hard.Then the vent door opens,showing Pricillas body,dead.They then scream.Peter put him down to his wheelchair.

 **Joe:** You're going to jail, Tucker. 

**Tom:** Like hell I am! You're not taking me anywhere, you podunk, Quahog redneck cop! Not you or anyone else in this damn town! I'm not going to jail! 

He then runs outside of his room.

 **Joe:** After him! 

Most of the men then follow Tom.They followed him until they reached the dining room table.

 **Joe:** Give it up, Tucker! 

**Tom:** Make me, Swanson!

They followed him around the table.Until they were tired.Peter came up with a plan.

 **Peter:** Wait a minute, wait a minute, guys! I got an idea.

They go in a circle.

 **Joe:** Shoot. 

**Peter:** What if half of us go around one side of the table, and the other half go around the other side, and then we won't have to chase him around in circles. 

**Cleveland:** Your sure,Peter?

 **Peter:** Yes I’m sure!

 **Hartman:** Damn, that's awfully risky.

 **Joe:** It sure is, but at this point I'm willing to try anything. All right. Let's do it!

They then split up and pinned Tom to the ground.

 **Peter:** It worked! 

**Tom:** Let me go! Let me go, you bastards! You're all gonna pay for this!

He then punched Joe in the arm.

 **Joe:** Alright,just for that, when the movie of this story comes out, I'm gonna make sure Adrian Brody plays you.

 **Tom:** I guess that means you don't want anyone to see it.

They then laughed.Until stopping when Joe said.

 **Joe:** Okay. All right.

The next morning.The police came and arrested Tom.The bridge was almost rebuilt and everyone was packing up.Lois went to Dianes room to check up with her.

 **Lois:** Hi, Diane. 

**Diane:** Oh, hi, Lois.

 **Lois:** How are you doing? I just thought I'd make sure you were okay.

 **Diane:** Oh, I'm managing. It's just... so hard to believe you can work with someone for fifteen years and yet have no idea who they really are or what they're capable of. 

**Lois:** Oh, I know. And I'm sorry. So, what happens now? Will you just anchor the news by yourself?

 **Diane:** I suppose, for the time being. 

**Lois:** Well, that's kind of exciting, right? 

**Diane:** You sound like my mother. She actually bought me this blouse for my first solo broadcast. I guess that's sweet, huh? 

**Lois:** She... uh... I'm sorry, I don't understand. What do you mean? I mean, how could she have known you'd be anchoring alone? I mean, none of this happened until... 

Then it hit her.What if Dianes the murderer.She then said to Diane.

 **Lois:** Gosh, I, uh, you know, I think I'd better, uh... go make sure Peter has his, uh... fire engine. 

**Diane:** Oh, really? But I was enjoying our talk. 

**Lois:** Oh, no, I... So was I, but, you know, I've, really, I should... I should go. 

Diane then pulls out her gun.

 **Diane:** No. I don't think so. 

**Lois:** Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it was you. You're the killer! 

**Diane:** Very clever, Lois. You shouldn't have stopped to say hi to me. You would've lived longer. 

**Lois:** God, why do I ever try to be friends with other women? But, Diane, why? How could you do all these horrible things?

 **Diane:** Well, I suppose it all really began a year ago when James Woods and I met at a press event and began seeing each other. We both valued our privacy, however, so we agreed to keep it a secret from the media. Everything in my life was wonderful. But then a few months ago, I turned fourty.It was hard for me to begin with, but it got worse when, not so coincidentally, Tom began pushing Channel Five News to replace me with a fresh, young face, and he succeeded. Three weeks from now, I'll be off the air. Well, apparently, all men think the same way, because around the same time, James dumped me. I watched my career and my love life crumble, and I wasn't gonna just stand by and take it. That's when I had the good fortune to meet a young news intern named Priscilla. She was so anxious to get into the reporting business and would have done anything to get on my good side. So I seized the moment. I paid her off to seduce James Woods and reel him into a relationship like a fish on a line. I knew a hot, young woman like Priscilla could manipulate him into doing anything I wanted. At my direction, she persuaded him to become a born-again Christian, and instilled him with the drive to bring together all the people he'd wronged. That's how this weekend came to pass. Of course, Priscilla knew nothing of my real intentions, but she played the part beautifully, nonetheless. There's no way she could have known I planned to kill James Woods and frame Tom Tucker, thereby destroying the two people who cast me aside and ruined my life.

 **Lois:** Oh, my God... you're fourty?

 **Diane:** Yes. I'm fourty. 

**Lois:** But then why did you kill the others? 

**Diane:** It was all supposed to go so smoothly.The hidden gun goes off, kills James Woods, and at the first opportunity, I retrieve the gun and plant it in Tom's bag. James Woods is dead, Tom goes to prison... Nice and easy. But Stephanie got in the way. She was in James' chair at the wrong time. And when I realized my mistake, I had to improvise. The power outage provided a perfect cover. I grabbed the knife off the dinner table and stabbed him. But as Joe pointed out, there were fingerprints. I couldn't just leave it there. So when Tom and I got separated in the gallery, I went back into the dining room and got the knife. But at that moment, Priscilla regained consciousness after fainting. She started to become hysterical. I knew I couldn't risk her revealing that I had engineered this whole gathering... so I killed her. And I hid her in Tom's room. I tried to plant the knife in Tom's suitcase, but at that moment, Muriel walked in, caught me in the act. It wasn't her fault, poor thing, but she had to die. I stabbed her, and she screamed. I had to leave the knife in her, because I couldn't very well hide it on my person with everyone quickly closing in. So I wiped off the fingerprints and ran. I slipped in with the rest of the group, when they all converged on the scene. I needed more time to finish my work framing Tom. But that's when Derek went out to the balcony. I couldn't let him contact the police before everything was in the place. So I had to kill him, too. When Peter was yelling at everyone about that picture of Derek holding up the Hollywood sign, I grabbed the Golden Globe and slipped out. I followed Derek outside and did what I had to do. I barely had enough time to plant the Golden Globe in Tom's room and run back downstairs, where I took advantage of the commotion and joined the crowd as they were all running outside. And the rest... Well, you did all the rest for me. You turned on Tom exactly as I planned. So there it is, Lois.

 **Lois:** My God. But wait, there's two things unaccounted for... What happened to Stephanie's body? And what about Steel Wool

 **Diane:** Actually,that's the one thing I don't know.I don’t know what happened to Stephanies body.But for the other…I called Steel Wool and ask him to help me kill the others for exchange for 1,000,000 dollars since his job only paid him 1 dollar a week.He made that reason up to hide the real reason why he did it.But I know that he will say that he was not the murderer.And I would have killed the others if they found me.Well,now you know everything,Lois.Which,of course, means I have to kill you. 

Then,Peter comes in.

 **Peter:** Lois, are you coming? I can't play my tapes without the key. 

**Diane:** Well, actually, Lois and I were just about to go for a quick walk, weren't we, Lois? We've been getting better acquainted. 

**Peter:** All right, well, just give me the key, please. 

**Lois:** All right, Peter, I'll get it. Don't put a gun in my back. I'm not, I'm just asking for the key. Give me the key. 

Lois hoped that he knew that she was in danger

 **Lois:** Here you go. Here's the key, Pete.

Peter then thought that she never ever called him Pete,at first.But then thought of listening to his tapes in the car.

 **Peter:** Bye. 

Peter then leaves the room.

 **Diane:** Shall we? 

Diane took Lois to a cliff,outside.

 **Diane:** Well, it's a shame that you have to die, Lois, but look on the bright side: You'll be a story on the 6:00 news. You know, unless a local cat does something funny. 

**Lois:** Diane, please, please, don't do this! I won't tell anybody, I swear to God! 

**Diane:** That's right. You won't. Good-bye, Lois. 

She then tries to shoot his gun.But then…

  
Someone else shot her…

She falled from the ground to her death.Lois then steps back and said.

 **Lois:** Hello? Is anyone there? Whoever you are... Thank you!

She then leaves the cliff.The bullet was shot from a sniper rifle.It was none other than Stewie who shot it.

 **Stewie:** If anybody's gonna take that bitch down, it's gonna be me.

Stewie then leaves.He pack up his sniper rifle and go down to leave.He got in the car.Soon everyone have left the mansion.They all go in there cars and leave.

The End


End file.
